Note: The original title of this post was, “Forced Words: Day 1”. I was grumpy and didn’t think I could write today. I was thankfully wrong.
— UNEDITED FIRST DRAFT —
FORCED WORDS: DAY 1
Ok, my title might be a bit too aggressive, but it’s staying as-is for now.
In the past seven calendar days, I’ve published two posts; TWO. Even writing out the words, “two posts” makes me want to put my pen down and run away. Admitting that my commitment to this challenge has been wobbly makes me feel like a failure. I should have listened to my inner critic that said I could never start a blog. Now I’m feeling sad, down and disappointed; not the best recipe for inspiring words.
On Day 25, I declared a change to my “show up and write” rhythm, and vowed to follow a schedule and write under a stricter framework. My goal was to spend 25 days reviewing or rewriting some of my favorite writing pieces, hoping to stretch my writing muscles.
But my “plan” didn’t go as planned and my strict new rules created so much inner doubt that I just avoided writing.
REVIEWED POST: How to Out Write Your Inner Critic by Jackie Johansen
When rereading this post for today’s piece, I could barely focus on Jackie’s creative words. I was hoping to feel my way through her words and land on an exciting new idea for an “Inner Critic” piece, but my Inner Critic drowned everything out. I couldn’t hear her words, nor my words; all I could hear was, “You’ve failed your challenge.”
All I could focus on were the five days I missed during this challenge. It was like the 25 successful days didn’t exist.
But I couldn’t help but wonder, are these my true feelings or is my Inner Critic’s volume on high because I’m focusing on it?
It’s saying, “You’ve failed. You wanted to write every day, and you didn’t. You missed five days.”
And It’s right.
But as I sit here now, three-quarters of the way through a piece that seemed impossible to write just minutes ago, I realize It’s wrong at this moment.
I’m writing a post on the Inner Critic (which was my goal). It’s not perfect, but it’s written (another goal). My Inner Critic may have accurately summarized my past, but it had to power to predict my future.
So how about this for a new title:
Putting Your Inner Critic in It’s Place
Your Inner Critic has Limits
How to Defeat Your Inner Critic in One Blog Post (I like this one)
Step 1 – Write a blog post about why you can’t write a blog post.
Step 2 – Let your inner critic take your pen and allow it to write about all the times you failed at writing blog posts.
Step 3 – Realize you’ve written a blog post about how you can’t write.
Step 4 – Feel happy knowing you’ve defeated your inner critic’s limits in one simple blog post.
Step 5 – If you’re short on time, publish said blog post without editing because: a poorly written, yet published, blog posts is always better at defeating your inner critic, than no published blog post.
That mouthful should keep us both stuffed for a while.
This post is a part of a 100 Day Writing Challenge series for bad new writers. You can follow along on Instagram @onemomswords to see if I ever find my writing voice in this deep pile of messy words.
This is a new blog: no purpose yet, no images yet, no clear sense yet; just words, lots of tangled words.