I took a day off from publishing yesterday, so I’ve blended some of yesterday’s paragraphs into today’s post.
Yesterday I tuned-in to a webinar on blogging for profit, and it left me with the same sleepy/depressed feeling you get after binging on FastFood. I was taken in by the allure of the ‘profit’ idea, but the richness of it all made me feel blah and icky.
There were thousands of us on the call, all captivated by the magical blogging formula being presented that promised us million$. And again, just as on Day 24, I was reminded that my strategy of “just show up and write” was all wrong.
I’ve been selfish in this challenge. The spotlight’s been all on ME and MY journey and MY words. I started this challenge on a whim, with the sole intention of ‘just writing’; not waiting any longer for the right idea or the right time to start. It started out of a creative impulse; there was no platform strategy or editorial calendar. I was a writer who was scared to write, so this challenge was only meant to eradicate that fear.
As I mentioned on Day 1, my feelings carry a lot of weight in my life. To me, feeling comes just as naturally and just as necessary as breathing. So I couldn’t ignore the “I’m in the wrong” feeling I’d been experiencing for two consecutive days.
Yesterday I didn’t want to change my selfish-writer strategy. For one, it was working: I was publishing. After two years of waiting, I was finally blogging, and I didn’t want to risk upsetting this “doing-it” rhythm by changing my course. I was also feeling embarrassed because just one day earlier, I was ranting atop my soap box, pledging to keep writing all about me, and not for you. What a fool I would seem if I went back on this now.
My spiritual journey has taught me that when things feel icky, or blah, or confusing, it’s time to stop and listen. Yesterday’s pause from publishing gave me the required space to not only think, but to listen. What I heard was it’s time to move forward.
It’s time I close the book on publishing random thoughts, spotlighted on me. I’ve grown comfortable with this write-publish rhythm, which means it’s time to feel awkward again. It’s time I grow new writing muscles and to challenge myself in new ways.
I’m going to listen to the advice the universe has whispered, now twice, to me. I’ll place my foot, neatly in my mouth and commit to shifting my writing spotlight from me to you.
For the next 25 days, I’ll force myself to write within the confines of a plan. I’ll dig up 25 of my most favorite “on-writing” articles and will review and re-write them like the profit-bloggers do.
Can I follow their formula, yet make space for my voice and my unique energy?
I’ll just have to write to find out.
This post is a part of a 100 Day Writing Challenge series for bad new writers. You can follow along on Instagram @onemomswords to see if I ever find my writing voice in this deep pile of messy words.
This is a new blog: no purpose yet, no images yet, no clear sense yet; just words, lots of tangled words.